W=E=L=C=O=M=E: 09

this is a blog entry of a blog that almost never wants to be a blog but a tumblr. if all tumblr didn't look like all tumblr i would have probably switched over to tumblr forever ago. as it is, things have been very interesting lately.

i saw luigi nono's promoteo which was something very very important to me. there's a sense of space and time that you don't really find in very many experiences. it was like being in a desert where something really important flashes in front of your eyes but then disappears before you can fully recognize what that thing was. this feeling lasted for 2.5 hours and it was pretty remarkable for nothing to be happening for that time frame but to never feel distracted or bored. indeed, the subtitle 'tragedy of hearing' was absolutely perfect. i cried.

i saw ostermayer's production of hamlet and i felt like this really addressed what a hamlet character could be like today as well as took the madness theme into our world and helped expose some of our cliches. lars did a helluva job eating all that mud and the rest and like any hamlet production worth its money, all the other characters fall away and it becomes this very intense study of a single body in various settings in various degrees of duress. i still think i like the wooster group's version more but it definitely gave me a lot to think about.

i saw christoph marthaler's subpolar and it was like every other christoph marthaler which for me is saying amazing is like amazing and holy fuck. the first scene where nothing could be seen but it sounded like they were playing basketball just off stage was so fucking haunting and amazing i almost couldn't bear it. then when they came in and took off their winter clothes and stood around and did nothing and listened to stories they didn't understand and then threw themselves at the walls out of frustration i simply thought yes yes yes yes yes yes. marthaler uses music like no other and it was so great to hear two of my favorite pieces ever - beethoven's 7th and schubert's D. 960 - used in such an intelligent, beautiful way. marthaler, i hate to use the term, is all affect, no story, and it makes me wish more people wrote stories like this. this, of course, was flaubert's dream but no fiction writer i can think of has perfected it.

i read ted berrigan's sonatas and all i could think was holy fucking fuck. the patterns felt immediately recognizable and i felt stupid that i had never read him when i was writing poetry. he was already doing a lot of the stuff that i was trying to do but like 40 years earlier and a lot better. not that i did the exact same thing - i was often writing 4 poems on top of one another, i.e. making simultaneity readable - but he really did something remarkable that i admire. each word is a brick. each brick could be placed anywhere. each brick as an element of the whole structure is basically irreplaceable. these are poems to return to.

i haven't really been listening to music or watching any movies because i've been too busy writing. i've got some projects underway, part of the big ms, and this has been eating up most of my free time except in my free time spent with j and swimming in lakes and eating really delicious food. the stuff is coming along and that's nice or whatever but sometimes i wish this project were over. i end up thinking about it a lot even when i'm not working on it so i know it's really important to me but there's this constant sense of frustration, to want to see it finally be born, that sometimes drives me mental. whatever. i've also sent some stuff out recently and had some really nice conversations with editors and there's like a handful of stuff in submishmash under the category 'in progress.' which i guess means something?

this blog entry of a blog that doesn't ever blog is, let's be honest, losing steam.

lez do what we do and fuhgetahboutit. WAIT TILL THE END